Some time back I was watching Sai pallavi's interview in Youtube and she mentioned pretty much all the heavy dance movement songs she was choreographed she had periods including 'Rowdy baby'; I was stunned seeing her attitude and her guts to speak out the truth in public forum that too with an interviewer of opposite gender. I have penned some bold topics like 'Caste', 'Big fat Indian weddings' which brought me lots of accolades and today I am going to pen an important topic which is very much relevant in today's world. Family feuds are becoming more frequent these days just like your morning filter coffee. When I used to be in US I used to wonder why people fight? 99.99% the reason for fight is money and many think money come and go but relationships aren't hence we should not fight. Now that I have completed five full years of coming to India I think I pretty much nailed it why there are family feuds everywhere. I am going to list them and explain in detail.
[1] Cash Transactions: If you think demonetization had made India into digital economy then come and have a cup of Soup. Cash dealings are always unofficial and though Government comes up with lot of rules and regulations people always find a way to find a loophole. Cash transactions becomes unaccounted and you cannot find a trace of it after few years. Real estate and Jewellery shops accept cash and people often use cash for these two things. If market value of a land is 2 crores whereas guideline value is 80 lakhs then the balance amount of 1.2 crores is settled in Cash. Now you might wonder what does cash transactions do with family feuds ? It does and it does big time. Assume there are two brothers where one live in US and one live in India then when both the brothers settle wealth do you think cash transactions will come into surface ? If at a year 2005 jewellery is bought through cash and at year 2010 land is purchased through cash will these two transactions come into the settlement table 10 or 15 years down the lane? If things are done in a fair manner then it should come but cash transactions will have zero trace hence these two transactions are discarded. This becomes advantage for the brother in India and the tendency in India is always "People in US are money machines" hence they may not be very particular on accumulating on all the wealth in India since the kids are all well settled in US. I am personally seeing many parents willingly asking one of the kids to settle in USA since they are aware of the problems that will arise if all kids settle in India. This is very pathetic and explicitly shows the parent is not being fair. Once again cash transactions are the root cause of many problems that arise in families.
[2] Zero Transparency: I would say heated debate is better than silence; People keep all the information within themselves when it comes to inheritance of family wealth. Nothing is disclosed and people always find ways to execute things quietly. I am not saying one has to announce these things in a mike but healthy discussions has to happen when we talk about some sensitive topics. Parents tend to be partial with one of the kids and they deliberately don't reveal out anything. The more secretive they are the more curiosity it creates for the other kid.
[3] Gender Disparity: Assume a glass of water and pot of water; One gender is given glass of water periodically whenever they are thirsty thereby quenching the thirst and the other gender is made to wait ..wait ..wait .....and then one final day given a big pot of water for the whole world to see how big the pot is. It is true pot of water is big but if you compare the glass of water at regular intervals to the pot given at the end then the little glasses of water will easily be to the size of a small pond. I leave it to the reader to decide which gender am I talking about for the glass of water and big pot. This point is again one of the main reasons for family feuds happening now.
[4] Take NRIs for granted: I feel so sorry for the NRI community .....just because NRIs pose pictures in cruise ships, lavish birthday parties, luxury cars doesn't mean life is full of roses for them. Going through immigration, missing family reunions and the worst is rushing down to India after hearing the sudden news or in some cases missing important funerals are all tough nut to digest which NRI community has to go through in their lives. Looking into the lifestyle of NRI community I have many so many people in India comment following things
"They will not come down to India anymore ...they have plenty of wealth in USA"
"Both husband and wife work and wealth in India is peanuts to them".
As Ex-NRI, I will voice out and explain the ground reality. I think its time for NRIs to voice out and start to understand more on India matters; If you think talking about these may raise eyebrows and create friction in the house then I am afraid when you want to raise your concern there will be no one to listen to your concerns. Always remember healthy argument is better than silence. Taking NRIs granted is also one of the reasons for family feuds since some people have started voicing their concerns. The big batch went abroad around 1995-2000 and those people are nearing 60 hence this is coming up in the last few years so going forward we will see more of these issues as number of people who went abroad post 2000 was on the rise.
So I have explained all possible reasons for family feuds. One thing is for sure ..there is something called 'Karma' and those who act unfair by amassing wealth of others will pay the price and sometimes Karma is so very powerful that it will leave you and start to bug your next generation.
